Yet another steep slab route on the Royal Arches apron with long runouts on sketchy terrain.

"Sometimes I'm sexy, move like a stud," 'Bitch' by the Rolling Stones.

As a bit of history, when guidebook author, George Meyers, put the route in his guidebook, he felt the route name was 'blatantly stupid' so he changed it to 'Move Like a Spud.'  Maybe he didn't get the Rolling Stones reference.

This route was originally done in two pitches.  On a very early repeat of the route, my partner leaned back at the belay at the top of the first pitch and one of the anchor bolts broke.  Since then the route has been done as a single pitch.

Move Like a Stud

Mid-Life Crisis

Arches Terrace

1096

Hershey Highway

Arches Terrace Direct

Hang Dog Flyer

[Redacted]

Benzoin and Edges AKA The Testes Squeeze

Bulging Puke

The Rambler

Greasy but Groovy

Shaky Flakes

Industry standard for 5.10+ wiggling.  It's a chimney, it's a flare, it's a fist crack, it's a lieback..... it's a classic!  Perfect rock and good pro in the back of the crack.  Shady in the afternoons.

The FA team were masters at their craft, so if you are just breaking into the wide and horrible world of 5.10 OW, do a RedBull or something before heading up this one.

click here for a short video clip of the YSL on 1096:

fishproducts.com/movies/109…

This is an excellent slab adventure to the left of the Arches Terrace Route. Unlike most of the nearby routes, Mid-Life Crisis is actually reasonably bolted for someone climbing near their limit. The climb is fairly sustained with all four pitches clocking in at 5.10. Most bolts are two or three body-lengths apart, with a couple big runouts on lower angle terrain. Though very well protected by Valley standards, this is not a sport climb. Be prepared to make cruxy 5.10 moves while standing perhaps 5 ft above your last bolt, and keep it together while runout 40-50 ft on low angle (but blank) 5.8 friction. All bolts and anchors were replaced thanks to the

ASCA

and are bomber!

Pitch 1: Begin a short ways left of the start of the Arches Terrace Regular Route. A slab boulder problem gains a left facing flake. Climb this and place a couple cams from 1" to 1.5". Then step right onto the face and go up to the first bolt. Follow the line of bolts straight up to an anchor. There is a big runout before the last bolt, but the rock is lower angle and there are some good edges and features which keep it reasonable. 6 Bolts.

Pitch 2: Traverse left from the anchor to a bolt that's way out left and sort of low. I actually missed this one and ended up angling straight up to the second bolt on the pitch, which is a reasonable runout and will actually reduce your ropedrag greatly on the rest of the pitch. Climb over a small bulge and continue up through some really blank rock that fortunately has good friction. This leads up to another bolted anchor. 7 Bolts.

Pitch 3: Climb left into the white water-polished rock. Good edges but bad friction lead up past a couple bolts to a left-facing corner. You can place a small piece here (.25"). Step right onto the arete and follow it up until you can move further right. More friction climbing continues up to the anchor. 7 Bolts.

Pitch 4: Climb straight up to the first bolt and then move left to reach a vertical dike. This leads to a second bolt. Continue along another dike out right and then cut back left. The angle at this point drops off and you make a big runout to the top of the pitch. The bolted anchor you are looking for is located in white rock just below an obvious left-facing corner.

At this point it is possible to continue climbing for three more pitches on Friday the 13th (5.10b R) which will lead to a tree covered terrace just below the steep headwalls. Otherwise just rappel the route with two 50m ropes to descend. All of the belays are equipped with rap rings.

The climb begins on a left facing grassy open book which doesn't look too fun. One can climb this at 5.8 or take one of the bolted routes nearby up to the first pitch's belay bolts.

From here the climb becomes more enjoyable. Four bolts protect a somewhat runout face traverse (5.7-8). The climbing here is wild and fun with the runout no longer than 40 feet at most. One traverses to a corner where easy climbing takes you to a new set of belay bolts.

From this belay runout face moves (5.6) takes one to a weird and flaring wide groove. Dirty pin scars provide protection for the awkward yet fun climbing up to a big tree.

From here many people rappel but the climb continues up obvious cracks and ledges for another two pitches. At the top one can rappel the Arches Terrace Direct route.

This basically a fun old school Valley route.

Climb well protected dihedral (5.6) and then exit onto the face (5.8) on top of the dihedral.

P1. Two variations for start. We did right variation 5.9 which has interesting face moves. Belay at the tree. 120ft. 5.9

P2. Started with broken ledges to hands/wide hands/fists crack.

belay before bolted traverse. Gear anchor at p3 protection bolt, easy to link p1 + p2,, 120 ft. 5.7

P3. Starts with short bolted traverse - transition to left thin crack.

Hard well protected 10a move to a very thin crux with some fixed gear- more like face climbing 11a. Then a good finger crack 10c to a single belay bolt with good gear in the crack 120ft 11a

P4. Start with 5.8 crack to the ledge where you have last pro for 5.9 move. From the ledge you should find positive hold and do several committing moves above your last gear. Falling here might have consequences but the farther from the ledge - the easier moves are. Easy climbing through ledges to the base of the vertical crack, more than 180 ft, 5.9R

P5,6- easy to link - hands, wide hands to the tree with slings. 200ft, 5.8.

Note: The 2016 Sloan topo for this route is very inaccurate and is missing a belay between its 2nd and 3rd labeled stations (single bolt belay station at the top of p3 in the above description). Without this belay this would be a >80m pitch.

Descent: Rappel Arches terrace route to the left with two 60m ropes. This is probably the best option as these rappels are relatively straightforward and safe.  Four 2x60 m rope rappels to the ground: 1) from a tree to the left of the topout, 2) small tree on a ledge, 3) big tree visible from the top, 4) bolted anchor on face (small chance you have to use the intermediate with 60m ropes). 2x70m ropes allowed us to go straight from the top to the big tree with a small amount of downclimbing; there's a good intermediate bolted anchor between 3 and 4 that might allow rappelling with a single 70. As of 9/19 the tat on the big tree was baked and bringing a large (6 ft) length of rope or cord to replace it would be wise.

Note: it might be possible to rappel the route or to the right of the route to the top of 1096 but the on-route stations were not equipped for this and comments below don't encourage this approach.

This is one of the less runout climbs under the Royal Arches. Start down and right from the Arches Terrace Route. There is a vertical flake that curves to the left at the top. The climb starts up this flake and then cuts up and right onto the face. Wander past many bolts and a crux highstep over a small overlap. Near the top of the pitch the climbing gets easier but also more runout. From the anchors rappel with two ropes, or continue up a second pitch that is very runout and crosses the traverse pitch on Arches Terrace.

Another steep slab route on the Royal Arches apron with long runouts between bolts on small, sometimes friable edges.

This is a pretty good climb that unfortunately has a lot of grass and bushes growing out of some of the cracks. If it gets more traffic it will become a lot better. Don't try to climb it in the spring or you'll have to deal with a lot of runoff and slime as well. Late fall is the best time. Also this thing cooks in the sun, so bring plenty of water.

The route goes mostly free at 13a A0, but some of the 5.10 pitches would be a nightmare to try freeing without first doing some serious gardening. Some of the 5.11 and 5.12 pitches look pretty bold, with small tricky pro placed from bad stances.

Erik's Bigwalls guidebook has a solid topo for the route, but here's a quick pitch breakdown.

Pitch 1: Short bolt ladder, move right, then up a shallow corner that's really dirty. With a coupe camhook moves you can avoid nailing. C2+

Pitch 2: Mostly a bolt ladder up the slab with a couple little cruxes. I think i might have hammered once on this pitch. A2-

Pitch 3: Pulled on gear somewhere near the start then free climbed the rest of the pitch. Mostly 5.6 and under.

Pitch 4: Free climb up and left, then after a bolt move back right. Some aid on dirty rock, and then at the top of the pitch it looked easier to free than try aiding. Seemed maybe 5.8 or so, with big fall potential if you fuck up. I thought this was the mandatory free crux of the climb. C2

Pitch 5: Walk left along Angel Ledge past 1 bolt and then climb up blocky terrain, mixed aid and free. C1+

Pitch 6: Climb a short steep crack, watch out for the detached block on corner of the shelf, then at the right side of the shelf get on an old rivet and aid the short chossy seam. Easy for "A3", only nailed once actually, and it'd go clean with a hand placed beak. A2, but don't fall.

Pitch 7: Steep C1 to beaks, to a cool hook move (the only hook i placed on the route), and finally a few bolts take you around the arete to the anchor. Awesome pitch. A2

Pitch 8: Really dirty seam leads into a big corner under the roof, then work left on fixed gear and out the roof. The beginning of the pitch sucks but the rest is spectacular. A1+

Pitch 9: Dirty and sort of chossy low angle crack and groove. Kind of miserable. C2

Pitch 10: Big awesome corner. If you free mid/hard 5.11 this will be super fun! C1

So above you is a big roof with two ways around it. An offwidth takes you out right to an A3 seam, and i guess this is the "standard" finish. I wasn't sure how to get to the start of the wide crack, it looked like some mandatory free slab climbing or something that I wasn't up for.

The alternative is a thin arching flake straight up from the anchor which gains a ledge with a tree to the left of the roof. Begin on the thin splitter to the right of the flake and then penjji over to it after about 20ft. This is an excellent pitch and it went clean up until the bolt at the top of the flake, then I had to nail a couple arrows traversing left under the roof. The final pitch is a C1 corner crack or fun and burly 5.10.

The Rambler is an awesome slab climb, characterized by low angle climbing on friction and small flakes/edges. Like many slab climbs, the climbing is quite runout much of the time.

Follow the obvious line of bolts, with occasional trad gear thrown in. The fifth pitch traverses right under the overhang, and then continues up and right.

Along with Shaky Flakes, Greasy but Groovy was a milestone in its day.  The crux sections are crowded into the third and fourth pitches.  The upper pitches are reminiscent of Tulomne routes -- run out 5.9!

I did this route in the early 1990s with Paul Horak, one of the best face climbers I have ever shared a rope with.  Although the guidebooks give this route an R/X rating, I don't recall any anxious moments.  Obviously, this is not a route for the faint hearted, but if you are confident on 5.11 face -- as were the first ascenders -- then the you can run up the run outs.

This 1970s classic is a devious line that exploits as many weaknesses as possible on the left side of the large apron that forms the Terrace Area.  The first pitch is typical of the entire route.  Bolts are minimal, and the leader must puzzle out the zigs and zags of the route.

I did the route with Bruce Dicks more than ten years ago on a brilliant Thanksgiving weekend visit to the Valley, and I cannot provide a pitch-by-pitch description.  Consult a topo, and follow the natural weaknesses of the rock.  But I do remember that Shaky Flakes is a mental challenge.  The second pitch is very committing, and the upper pitiches, while not as difficult, involve long runouts.  But be confident.  If you can lead the first pitch, then you are good to go.  The first bolt is VERY high; nothing you face above is more dangerous.

In my opinion, along with Greasy but Groovy, Shaky Flakes should be on the tick list of any serious Yosemite Climber.  It pushed the limits in its day.

Description

Location

Protection

Routes in Eastern Royal Arches